Recently my friend Melody asked me if I would like to write a pet eulogy as part of a class project. I agreed to do so for my former dog, Rascal.
To be clear – Rascal is not dead. He is far from it. I think you will understand once you read the eulogy.

Of my former friend, Rascal:
Once an anonymous stray found running down McLoughlin Blvd., Rascal entered my life as a spunky Jack Russell mix. He possessed fuzzy, wiry hair, neopolitan pink paws, and an endearingly handsome countenance.
Full of abounding energy, Rascal had many talents outside of your standard “sit/shake” variety. These included, but were not limited to: jumping over 6-foot fences, digging holes large enough for a grave, performing Houdini tricks by wrestling out of his harness, turning his nose to a freshly cooked piece of bacon while being pursued, tearing up linoleum flooring, and clawing holes in walls.
Rascal was fond of showing me how much he cared for me. Once, he lovingly clawed the cushions and ate the arm of the couch I had just purchased. He took me on tours of all of my neighbor’s yards; I loved the feelings of humiliation while he ran incessant circles around me. Rascal was also kind enough to eat my favorite pair of boots. On my birthday.
Sadly, we both realized we were not meant for each other, and so our relationship ended. Rascal – wherever you are, I hope you are well, happy, and running as free as you were meant to. You handsome devil.